I love you but I can’t tell you how much. It’s my secret. You’re not mine. I love you more than myself and I know that’s toxic. But without you is like poison to my body. Is there a difference? I feel like I would die. If you weren’t here with me. I feel like life would be misery and torment. Hell on earth. Without you. No eating no sleeping barely breathing. Should I try? Try to give you away? Back to her? How could I betray myself? Physically aching to touch you. How can I possibly willingly let go of my love? I would rather risk the pain of never being us just to have you as long as I can. As long as you decide I am worthy. I’ve made you my god and discarded my faith. Only for you to kiss me one more time. Only for you to tell me good bye. Simply for the nothing I am left with. It’s ok. I will die after you’re gone. So I won’t feel a thing. In reality, I am already dead.